GIR's Renewal: A Remake of the Pilot Eppy
by Davou Mouchou
Summary: Don't judge by the title, this is the Pilot Eppy of IZ if Zim had gotten a Smart SIR... I will write other IZ eppys like this if the reviews want me to......


This Fic is the pilot eppy of IZ if Zim had gotten a SIR that obeyed, but still did stupid things... HAVE FUN, & PLZ REVIEW!  
  
"And finally, Invader Zim!" shouted Red. "Give mission to Zim!" yelled Zim. Zim, being much shorter then the all mighty tallest, he stood cowering at their feet. "Zim, your mission is a top secret one," said Purple. "What's secret about it?" asked Zim curiously. "We cant tell you that," replied the tallest in unison. "Why not?" asked Zim. "Cuz, " said Purple. "THUS CONCLUDES, THE GREAT ASSIGING!!!" screamed Red before Zim could get in another word Zim walked through the door at the back of the platform. "It was wise for the tallest to give me a secret mission, I am quite deserving after the humiliation I caused all the other trainees at skool." said Zim maniacly Zim emerged in a huge room with robot arms carrying all sorts of odd machines in them. There was a dull gray platform in the center of the room, with long steel bar, like a coat rack, although what was on it, looked to be robots. All the invaders lined up on the platform as the tallest emerged from an elevator conversing in low whispers. "This is your standard information retrieval bot," said Purple as he picked up a robot, " also known as a SIR." "It's also a thermous," added Red. "Who wants this one?" asked Purple. "I do!" yelled Invader Skooge. Purple hurled the robot at Skooge's stomach. As it impacted him, he screamed several times then managed to choke out, "Thank you." "Everyone else line up and take a robot, " said Red. Each Invader stepped up to the front of the platform and had a robot come to life at their feet, then each gave their SIR a command, and each SIR saluted and went off to do their task. "Finally, a robot slave of my own!" exclaimed Zim as he stepped up to the head of the platform. The mimed out the words "gimme". "Uh. umm. We have a special top-secret model for you Zim, " said Red. Red took a SIR unit, opened it's head, pulled out what looked like a hunk of computer boards, and replaced them with a large block of metal. Red then closed the lid and put it at Zim's feet. "GIR reporting for duty!" saluted Zim's SIR. "GIR? What's the G stand for?" asked Zim. "I don't know!" said Zim's SIR. "Fine, go warm up my ships engines, " commanded Zim. GIR's eyes turned from their shade of light blue to red, and he said, "Yes master, I obey!" Then GIR ran off towards the hangar. "Wow, that was weird, " said Zim. Later in the hanger, Zim met GIR at his ship, GIR was sitting on one of the engines roasting a hotdog in the flames. "GIR, what are you doing!" shouted Zim. GIR immediately stopped roasting the hotdog, which was now blacker than charcoal, and he deposited it in his mouth, before having his eyes turn red again. "I was just testing the power of the engines master," said GIR. "Very good, I was starting to think you were stupid or something, " replied Zim. They both climbed into the ship, Zim strapped himself in, while GIR sat on the floor playing with a rubber pig toy. Every once in a while, a squeak would emit from the toy. "Our mission begins now GIR," said Zim triumphantly, "let us rain some DOOM upon the DOOMED heads of our DOOMED enemies!" GIR's eyes turned red and he said, "Master, I will collect data on the planets inhabitants so we can create a home and disguises for ourselves." "Good idea GIR, we will be arriving soon, " replied Zim, a smile spreading across his face. Within a few hours, their craft detected the presence of a planet, Earth. GIR slammed up against the window and looked open-mouthed outside. Hundreds of thing were swooshing by in a split-second. Houses, Squirrels, Trees, Buildings, Rivers, Clouds, and an array of many other things. After a few minutes, Zim was satisfied and said, "HERE! WE BUILD HERE!!!" The craft landed with a loud thud in the dark street. Zim and GIR got out and the craft transformed into a disguise machine. There was a control panel where Zim looked at possible disguises for himeself. "To Ugly!" he shouted as a thin, tall, nerdy looking person went by. "To Stinky!" he shouted as a fat person passed by. "That one looks good!" Zim exclaimed as a model that consisted of Zim, with human eye contacts, and a hair piece to cover his antennae. The two halves of the ship came together around Zim. Light flashed, and Zim's yelps of pain could be heard from outside where GIR sat eating an assortment of rocks. "Why does it hurt!!" yelped Zim. After about a minute, the halves came apart and zim stood there, a exact copy of the model. "For you, I'm thinking, maybe, a dog," said Zim as he selected a disguise for GIR. Zim pushed GIR into the machine. The two halves came together and light flashed through the crack. In a few moments, GIR emerged with a green dog suit, complete with leash and zipper came hurtling out of the machine and into a fire hydrant. Dazed, GIR stepped back and did a little "Ta-Da" movement, as if expecting aplause. "Ingenious!" yelled Zim. Zim then took out what looked like a Magna-doodle, and drew a house. "Some windows, a couple little animal things in front, THERE!" he said. He twisted the device, and it turned into a mini-drill, he set it on the ground and both Zim and GIR ran behind the hydrant and watched. The drill went on it's way down, then it sprouted blades, churned up the earth around it, and tubes and chambers started to sprout from it, expanding to fill the ground beneath it. Then an array of tubes burst forth from the ground and took the shape of a house. Simultaneously, thousands of colored lasers joined to form walls. A fence sprouted at the end of the ground, a few lawn gnomes stood in the yard, and a lump of plastic took on the shape of a flamingo. Next, a tree and a "I luv Earth" sign were added to the yard. And finally tubes sprouted from the sides of the house and latched onto the adjacent houses, where many small tubes burst forth and began to suck power from the other houses. A satelite dish was added and the house was complete. Zim's Voot Cruiser used the attic as a hangar. The creation of the house generated a lot of noise and almost everyone on the block went out to see what it was. Zim hastily grabbed GIR's leash and dragged him through the door marked "Men" along with a mens' bathroom sign. Two robot parents appeared and said in unison, "Welcome home, Son." "Phase one went smoothly," sighed Zim. Both of them walked into the kitchen, where Zim hopped into a trashcan and an elevator took him below the house into the maze of tubes and rooms. "Now, to find out the best way of learning about this planet. His computer showed a picture of a skool. "There! There is where I shall lean about this horrible stink place," Zim exclaimed. "GIR!" yelled Zim. "Come to the laboratory!" "Okie Dokie!" squealed GIR. A few moments later, GIR came careening down an elevator. "GIR I have a job for you," continued Zim. "Yes my master!" saluted GIR. "I need you to go and observe what these earthinoids consider normal behavior so I don't draw too much attention to myself." "Yes master, I obey!" saluted GIR. GIR then went back up through the elevator and out the front door. He stepped out onto the street, and he put on his dog suit. His feet sprouted jets and he set off rocketing through the neighborhood. He stopped at one house where the inhabitants were eating dinner. They were all acting very politely to eachother, and they talked about their days. GIR became bored quickly and he moved on. The next house, the inhabitants were also eating dinner, but this scene was very different. It was very dirty, and GIR heard an assortment of words that seemed very vulgar. He also saw the husband slap the wife's rump. In addition, all the kid talked about was blood and gore. GIR was easily amused by this but then his eyes caught the most beautiful sight imagineable, the Krazy Taco fast-food restaurant. GIR's eyes turned blue and he ran through the doors. "Welcome to the Krazy Taco, may I take your order please?" said the Taco Human. "Yah, I wanna get me 'bout 10 tacos and one o' dem giant burritos," said GIR. "Ok so that's 10 tacos and a giant burrito, do you want a drink with that?" asked the Taco Human. "What kinda drinks you got?" replied GIR. "We got New Poop, Classic Poop, Diet Poop, Cherry Poop, and salty lemonade," said the Taco Human. "Gimme a large Classic Poop!" yelled GIR clapping. "Here you go!" said the Taco human as he handed GIR his order. GIR took out way too much money and threw it at the Taco Human, and ran screaming out of the Crazy Taco. On his way out he remembered his master's commands and spyed at the humans for about 10 more minutes, then he went back to the house and finished his food. "So, what did you- OH WHAT IS THAT HORRIBLE STINK?!?!" screamed Zim, eyes watering. GIR opened his drink and showed him the liquid dookey inside, then he smiled and coughed up dookey all over the floor. "Just tell me what you learned," Demanded Zim. "Well, you need ta' slap girlzes bums, and yah gotta talk bout' your day, and yah gotta be polite to the peoples," said GIR happily not knowing that he mixed things up. "Good, thank you GIR," said Zim, "I will act as you say." "You are welcome master!" saluted GIR, his eyes turning red again. Zim retired for the night and the next morning, he set off for skool. "Class, we have a new student in our class," said Mrs. Bitters, the teacher, "his name is Zim." "Zim," she continued, "if you have anything to say, say it now, because after this moment, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANOTHER SOUND FROM YOU!" "Hello friends, I am a perfectly normal human worm baby, you have NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING to fear from me, just pay no attention to me and we'll get along just fine," said Zim. Most of the students were staring out into space, but a dark-haired kid with an enormous head was pointing open-mouthed in fear at Zim. Zim, remembering what GIR had told him, went up to Mrs. Bitters and slapped her firmly on the rump. "WHAT THE!!!" screamed Mrs. Bitters. "ZIM! UNLESS YOU WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE IN A FORTRESS OF PAIN, I SUGGEST YOU SIT DOWN AND NOT MAKE A SOUND FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR!!!!!" Many of the kids laughed hysterically at Zim, but that one kid kept gawking at him. "Okay," said the kid. "does anyone else see the alien sitting in class?" Everyone started looking around, a few looked inside their desks. "There!" he shouted pointing at Zim. "Right there!" "Look at his horrible green head!" he said. "It's a skin condition, " replied Zim, beginning to shiver with fright. "And he has no ears, is that part of your skin condition Zim? No ears?" asked the kid as he continued his interrogation. "Yes." said Zim now trembling. "Man Dib, just cuz someone looks different, you think you can call them an alien?" said another kid. "Yeah, I suppose Old Kid's an alien too huh?" asked another. "How's it going?" croaked a extremely old looking child in the back row. Just then, the bell rang, and Zim sprinted out of the classroom only to be confronted by Dib outside. "Hello Zim," said Dib. "What are those?" asked Zim pointing at a strange pair of what seemed to be handcuffs in Dib's hands. "Alien sleep cuffs, guaranteed to render all alien life forms unconscious. I ordered them from one of my UFO-zines," said Dib, now brandishing the cuffs threateningly. "How do you know they work if you've never found a real alien before?" asked Zim. "I'm gonna find out right now!" laughed Dib as he lunged at Zim. Zim took off running through traffic and yards. "Leave me alone! I just wanna go home and be all normal!" yelled Zim as he pushed a set of crates in front of Dib. Dib crashed into them and Zim hopped onto a metal fence. He took out his communicator. "GIR, SAVE ME , QUICKLY!!" he yelled into the microphone. A few seconds later, GIR came careening down the street on his jets. Then, GIR spotted Zim. Ignoring Zim's orders, GIR's eyes turned red and he lunged at Dib and tackled him to the ground. Then he started to beat him with his legs and finally did a little victory dance on his face, before turning on his rockets, picking up Zim, and pulling him out of danger. Dib got up, his face blackened by GIR's jets, aching all over, followed the smoke path back to Zim's house. He arrived just as Zim and GIR got inside. "Welcome home son, " said Zim's robot parents, and they closed the door. Dib pounded on the door yelling. Then one of the lawn gnomes targeted Dib's cuffs and blew them out of his hand, destroying them. "Okay. I'm gonna go home now, and PREPARE some more!" yelled Dib as he streaked off back to his house. Zim slouched against the door, sighed, and said, "Okay!"  
  
THE END!!!  
  
I hope u guyz liked it, if you did, I'll interpret more episodes with this "NEW" GIR. PLEASE R&R and tell me if u want to see any more eppies like this! Thanks. 


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